It’s no secret I’ve struggled (sometimes so hard i just couldn’t see the light) with depression for as long as my memory serves me. As early as 8/9 years old. Likely earlier. My biggest depressive struggle is being alone. Physically. Being without other human beings. Yes, I likely also suffer from abandonment issues. I cannot stand from inside out to be alone. Look, everyone including me needs time to be alone occasionally. Sure, I enjoy the times I go outside the home without my kids in tow. While I enjoy being with my husband 99% of the time, sometimes it’s just that I don’t want to talk. Fine. It’s my choosing, I decided I want to be without other humans. My choice. But then comes the night. Or what my mind believes is a trigger. This is a huge problem...my husband works the graveyard shift from 5pm-5am. Yup. 12 hours. 50% of our lifebl together spent being away from each other, at night. Evenings for us are dinners together at the table, silly family conversations, bubbl...
Today I had the opportunity to teach my kids about self love. Im a fat girl (ya I said it), I was raised in a time not like today...where if you over a size 10 there no clothes for you at any regular store. If there were any clothes they were bright blue tweety bird t shirts, cuz ya know that’s what the obese need on them. Tweety fucking bird. If you were fortunate enough to have a parent that could afford specialty stores (fashion bug, avenue, honestly i can’t think of anymo re...) then maybe you could get something decent. But fat chance if youre under 35, cuz there were no fun clothes. In this time I lived growing up big bond-ed it wasn’t cute, there was no pro fatty, no body positivity, and there was no anti bullying anything yet. I was teased mercilessly in elementary and into middle school. Not only for being fat, but also dressing not so cute (remember no husky sizes for girls), and lets not talk about my fro. At some point between 5 and 36 years old I’ve come to absolutely ador...